Bumper Sticker Slogans

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those whocan't.
* Why is abbreviation such a long word?
* Keep honking...I'm reloading.

Religious

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Going to church no more makes you a Christian than going to the
� garage makes you a car.

God is dead - Neitzche. Neitzche is dead - God.

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

The only problem with Baptists is they don't hold them under
� long enough.

Jesus saves, by using double coupons and shopping wisely.

Controversial

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather, because
� it's easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Work harder. Millions on welfare are depending on you.

Gun control means using two hands.

Kevorkian for Surgeon General.

Earth first! We'll strip mine the other planets later!

Clinton doesn't inhale, he blows.

I love animals. They're delicious.

We can fire politicians because we can fire guns.

Bashing opposite sex

--------------------

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

My other wife is a model.

Sarcastic

---------

D.A.R.E. to keep cops off donuts.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

I'm not obnoxious, I'm tact-challenged.

I'll listen to reason when it comes out on compact disc.

Horn broke, watch for finger.

DAMM -- Drunks Against Mad Mothers.

Bad spellers of the world UNTIE!

Chancellor is French for "funny-looking, bald guy."

I'll fuck anything that moves, so don't fidget!

Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those
� who can't.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
� There's one for brightness, but it doesn't work.

Ron Jeremy for President.

Illiterate? Call this number for help.

Seixelsyd Etinu. (Read backwards)

The worst part of censorship is XXXXXXX.

Anything which does not kill me better do enough damage to keep
� me from firing back.

Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Rugby players may not go down in history, but they'll go down on
� your sister.

Does doing a muppet count as bestiality?

E. Coli Happens.

Have you ever had Deja Vu? Have you ever had Deja Vu?

Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

Parents, can't live with them, can't live without their money.

Hard work never hurt anyone - but why take chances?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

Born free... taxed to death.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken!

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.

Lord save me from your followers.

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just woudn't listen.

Cats... the other white meat.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Assassins do it from behind.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

Beauty is only a light switch away.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.

Imagine what life would be like with no hypothetical situations.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.